Is Spain Different
The Spanish Citizenship Test
After reading all about the UK citizenship test, and also having failed it miserably, I feel that it is time that Spain also had a pointless piece of bureaucracy as we don’t have nearly enough red tape here at the moment and we need to create jobs by making people fill in pointless tests. Here is the link to the response to the test by all of those who failed it.
Therefore when you are thinking about coming to live in Spain you should be studying hard so you can pass the unofficial Spanish Citizenship Test.
Here are the first ten questions and I will leave you to add in the rest 
1) When going into a shop or bank with a few people already there, what do you do?
a) Stand in an orderly queue leaving equal spaces between everyone in the queue avoiding eye contact or physical proximity?
b) Mutter “Who’s Last” and then mooch against the nearest wall?
c) Muter “Who’s last?” then proceed to get out your Smartphone and play Angry Birds whilst the person at the front of the queue tells their life story to their cousin who is serving them?
2) When trying to get anything official done how much time should you allow yourself?
a) Half an hour as all you need is a piece of paper to be stamped?
b) All morning and leave a few mornings free in the following week as there will obviously be something else to do and somewhere else to go first before you get what you want done?
c) There is no limit. You will very quickly lose the will to live.
3) When you sit down in a cafe how long should you expect to be sat there before the waiter/waitress comes to take an order?
a) A few minutes?
b) A good half hour?
c) Forever if you do not actually catch their eye and shout “Oye!” or “Oiga!” a few times?
4) What is it obligatory to take to a football match?
a) A white handkerchief?
b) A Bocadillo?
c) A pack of “Pipas”?
d) All of the above?
(If you answered D for a bonus point what are they for?)
5) Which way did the reconquest of Spain from the Moorish invaders go?
a) North to South?
b) South to North? (An answer specially tailored to Valencians)
c) Spain was never reconquered it is still Al Andalus?
6) Who is the current and future head of Government in Spain?
a) Mr Bean and Mr Charisma (“But I Cannot Read My Own Handwriting”)?
b) Zapatero and Rajoy?
c) Both of the above?
7) How much is speeding fine in Spain?
a) Spain has fines?
b) Depends on the speed?
c) Depends on your nationality, and whether it is before lunch for the Guardia who has stopped you and if he is a bit short that day?
Where is the “Real Spain”?
a) Anywhere from 5km inland around the whole country?
b) There isn’t a real Spain, it is a myth peddled by writers trying to emulate the success of “A Year in Provence” for France?
c) Wherever you get to see a donkey on a regular basis?
9) If you go to talk to any politician in Spain how do you know whether he or she is corrupt?
a) There are no corrupt politicians in Spain how dare you suggest such a thing?
b) On a scale of one to ten “Ours’ go up to 11″?
c) Is he or she breathing? Yep! They are corrupt then!
10) Where is the best Spanish food to be found?
a) Wherever the person you are talking to is from?
b) I prefer fish and chips?
c) I have never tried that foreign muck?
As I asked before are there any other questions you would like to add into the comments?
Related Reading:
1) Spain Is… (There was a great debate around this post so read it)
Spanish Citizenship Test
Discussion
One Response to “The Spanish Citizenship Test”
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I think I did well, can I come to live in Spain? The real Spain where the Donkeys are?
Sarah Arrow @Sameday courier recently posted..The Business of Relationships – Marketing Yourself
Posted by | October 13, 2011, 6:41 am
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